A Month of What Matters Most

I couldn't let my favorite month pass without posting something and, reminiscing on how my life has gone this month, I realized that there's one prominent motif: friendship/kinship.

Have you ever really stopped and considered all of the moments you've spent with your dearest friends or family, putting everything else aside? This month, I have seen so many of the people I love do just this; this month has reminded me, once again, what things truly matter most.

Over the past 22 years of my life (particularly in the past several years), it's been repeatedly clear to me the importance and influence of the people who enter my life. Our time spent building and cherishing relationships is so vital to our humanity and growth.

But the bittersweet truth I've faced this month, particularly as regards my friends at my home/alma mater but even at grad school as well (after all, I only have about two semesters left and living there is growing in my affections), is that things change, people leave and move on, and we must continue on with our lives. This is really quite hard since one of my two greatest and most haunting fears is loss.
However, President Uchtdorf once said, "There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.... Because we are made of the stuff of eternity.... Endings are not our destiny.... How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings."(1) I still remember the immense peace and joy I felt when he said this.

I drive past an exit every time I commute from grad school to home which leads to the cemetery where many of my dad's family are buried. I had the time on the first day of my spring break this month and pulled off to visit my (actually literal) family tree and talk to gravestones/family, in particular my Grandma Beth. The fact that there are no true endings is very sweet when I consider her, my Granny, and my Grandpa G (whom I also visited when I passed his cemetery). Though they weren't there for my BA graduation and won't be there for my MA or other events in my future, there is still time for us.

I found the odd twig last fall at grad school, and I thought I'd bring it to her since she studied there as well.

Our literal family tree, planted by my great-grandmother next to her husband's (and eventually her own) grave.
She lived nearly fifty years after he passed away.(2)

And their influence, even after all of these years, still stretches to all of us.

Nevertheless, though there are no true endings, there is also no better time than now to cherish our times together with the family and friends still with us.
My philosophy friends and I have talked, recently, about the reality of how short and precious our time together is now; we're all continuing on with our lives, and this reality has hovered beneath the surface of our emotions while spending time together.

Thinking--it's what we do in the philosophical society

Except when we don't. We know what our priorities are, like ice cream and goofiness...
(stolen from my best friend Elle's blog)(3)

Time in this so-very-important mortal life is precious when you consider the vastness of the eternities, and we cannot let endings hold us back as we make and build friendships with those around us. A year ago, because of fear, I almost lost the opportunity to get to know one of my (now) best friends. Fortunately, I got a second chance to spend time with him, but I rather wish I hadn't needed it. When it comes to the human relationships that can help us grow the most, there is no room for fear. In fact, it seems that, from an eternal perspective, there is no need to fear.

Now, I wish I could have spent time in March with all of the other friends and family who are dear to me, but spending quality time with everyone would be extremely difficult to manage, especially when life gets so distracting or demanding, so I try not to think about it.(4) This is yet another worry we experience--if we don't see our friends, or put in enough effort, does that lessen our friendship? I doubt it:
I ran into Emma, a best friend I haven't seen in way too long at the grocery store tonight. (Blessings do happen!) Though time passes and things change, the true friendships won't. That's really why we don't need to fear or worry. Even after eight months (as with Emma) or eight years (as I experienced with my friends Brianna and Christina), those friendships will still be dear. There can be no end to a true friendship. Running into one of my oldest and best friends tonight made me realize this, and it really was the best close and crowning moment for this month of friends.

1. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng
2. Sorry. Couldn't resist the opportunity to share these lovely photos of my great-grandparents.

3. Thanks to my birthday earlier in March and spring break last week, my friends' lives were very interrupted in March. *sheepish look* A week ago last Wednesday, I dragged some of the philosophy tribe to Kiwi Loco after the philosophical society, and my best friend Elle had the wisdom to bring her camera. I only wish I could have gotten pictures with all of the friends whom I've seen or who lovingly (and very patiently) set aside time this month.
4. Just know, family and friends, if I didn't see you in March, you were still in my thoughts.