The Rewards of Vulnerability
and the lies in "Strong Female Characters."
A while ago I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and fellow writer, Norma, who told me of her recent experience participating in a writing group. In the course of our conversation, we briefly discussed how vulnerable one can feel in putting your creation and work out there. And yet, it's necessary to both grow and to succeed.
In order for your books and your writing to improve, you must share it with people who can help, and in order to become a published author, you must publish it and share it with the world. That is the ultimate goal of writing books, but it requires the vulnerability of initially handing over your creation to the world (whether literally the world or to the world of editors and writing groups). Ironically, writers want to share their stories, and yet feel the most unsure of sharing it, as is evidenced by the fact that they're writing in the first place. In other words, writers want to tell you something, but don't want to do it face to face. This is the fear of vulnerability that struggles with the dream to publish and share.
Vulnerability is good. It's terrifying and often even painful, but it's strangely good.
Even in characters.
Agent Peggy Carter in Marvel's "Agent Carter" TV show is a "strong female character" and yet she's more than that. She's real. She's vulnerable, even in front of her co-workers (which wins their trust, in fact). She's loyal. She's friendly. She's wise. Yes, she can immobilize half a dozen soldiers at once, but that's not important to her character. She's just as able to lend support and comfort to half a dozen men, at least one at a time (e.g. when one of the more arrogant men amongst her co-workers ends up confiding in her). She was wounded both physically and emotionally by the war, but that doesn't harden her into an unfeeling, aggressive woman trying to be a man. No, that softens her to a woman who wants to help and who wants to be heard as a woman...a respected woman who can help and guide just as much now as she could when she was at Steve Rogers' side.
The concept of a strong female character is a lie. I think that there is strength and weakness in both male and female characters, and more often than not it's their weaknesses and vulnerabilities that make them strong. To continue with Marvel, Steve Rogers isn't strong because of his genetically altered powers. He's strong because he was and still is vulnerable. That vulnerability and the courage and goodness that developed from that vulnerability are what make him strong. It wasn't the superhero that jumped on the fake bomb, it was a hero disguised and undervalued by all who couldn't see past his "unmanly" size. In his vulnerability, the action that cause us to see into his very soul, does he prove himself stronger than all: that he's willing to die for others, by jumping on the bomb and crashing a plane into the Atlantic.
A while ago I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and fellow writer, Norma, who told me of her recent experience participating in a writing group. In the course of our conversation, we briefly discussed how vulnerable one can feel in putting your creation and work out there. And yet, it's necessary to both grow and to succeed.
In order for your books and your writing to improve, you must share it with people who can help, and in order to become a published author, you must publish it and share it with the world. That is the ultimate goal of writing books, but it requires the vulnerability of initially handing over your creation to the world (whether literally the world or to the world of editors and writing groups). Ironically, writers want to share their stories, and yet feel the most unsure of sharing it, as is evidenced by the fact that they're writing in the first place. In other words, writers want to tell you something, but don't want to do it face to face. This is the fear of vulnerability that struggles with the dream to publish and share.
Vulnerability is good. It's terrifying and often even painful, but it's strangely good.
Even in characters.
There's a thing going around about creating "strong" female characters. I don't particularly care for the implications of this term: that females are not strong, compared to males (where are our "strong male characters"?), and that being "strong" means acting like a man and being aggressive and "kicka--" (excuse the language, please. I simply wanted to use terminology I've heard used over and over again to describe "strong" female characters).
Agent Peggy Carter in Marvel's "Agent Carter" TV show is a "strong female character" and yet she's more than that. She's real. She's vulnerable, even in front of her co-workers (which wins their trust, in fact). She's loyal. She's friendly. She's wise. Yes, she can immobilize half a dozen soldiers at once, but that's not important to her character. She's just as able to lend support and comfort to half a dozen men, at least one at a time (e.g. when one of the more arrogant men amongst her co-workers ends up confiding in her). She was wounded both physically and emotionally by the war, but that doesn't harden her into an unfeeling, aggressive woman trying to be a man. No, that softens her to a woman who wants to help and who wants to be heard as a woman...a respected woman who can help and guide just as much now as she could when she was at Steve Rogers' side.The concept of a strong female character is a lie. I think that there is strength and weakness in both male and female characters, and more often than not it's their weaknesses and vulnerabilities that make them strong. To continue with Marvel, Steve Rogers isn't strong because of his genetically altered powers. He's strong because he was and still is vulnerable. That vulnerability and the courage and goodness that developed from that vulnerability are what make him strong. It wasn't the superhero that jumped on the fake bomb, it was a hero disguised and undervalued by all who couldn't see past his "unmanly" size. In his vulnerability, the action that cause us to see into his very soul, does he prove himself stronger than all: that he's willing to die for others, by jumping on the bomb and crashing a plane into the Atlantic.
It's in the very act of vulnerability by stepping out of our comfort zone and sharing our thoughts or creations to the world that we prove our strength...true strength. This vulnerability is necessary to succeed. If Rogers hadn't jumped on the bomb or tried to enlist despite rejection, he never would have become the man who would become a beacon of hope and courage or who would sacrifice his own life to save the world. It doesn't mean it's easy, but it's good.
It's interesting how we can participate in the same conversation and come away with different thoughts. I too have been thinking about the idea of vulnerability. I just finished reading Stephen R. Covey's book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in which he shares some interesting insight into vulnerability and how it generates an environment of trust where creativity can thrive. That's not exactly how he says it, but the idea is there. Thanks for the post.
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