Openness & Closedness

I just read a blog post that encouraged us not to make New Years Resolutions (that more often than not are never successful), but rather to choose one word that will change you this year. As I was reading it, I mulled over what my word this year could be. Then, at the end of the article, a word literally jumped into my head: open. It wasn't a word that I have ever really thought of, so, I can't ignore it right now (maybe in a week, but not right now).

To be open (yes, I think I'm funny), I find it fascinating that "open" is the word I thought of. The following are some of my thoughts and reasons why.
There's a particular book idea, Yairden, that I've had on my mind for a couple of years. I've mentioned it a couple of times, and I even have a page under "Book Ideas" briefly about it. Other than that, I've kept this idea to myself far more than any of my stories. My dad knows about it more than anyone else, my cousin a portion, my mom a bit because she's overheard me talking about it to my dad, and the critique group at the writers' retreat last semester because I had them read the beginning, but other than that, this story has been strictly kept to myself. Why? Maybe because I've heard that some authors keep their works in progress to themselves (at least until they have a fifth draft they think may be suitable for family/close friends/editor's perusal), or maybe because it seems as if no words can yet describe this story (and even tell it, to tell the truth) in a way it appears/feels in my mind. In other words, this story is closed, not open, to people. This may or may not be good. I don't know.

Right now I'm going to open up a particular part of the story to you, a part that deals with openness/closedness (apparently "closedness" is not a word...). My MC (main character), is a "closed" character. She has lived on her own in the forest for years--no friends, no family, no obligations, no vulnerability, no pain, no love. Though she, deep down, believes differently and even has a drive which she can't ignore to do what is morally right, at the beginning of the story, she believes the meaning of life is only to survive. In the course of the story, however, she chooses, against her "better" judgment, to journey with a few others who need her help (and who, she eventually realizes, she needs the help of). These companions become very dear friends to her. She begins to realize that there is more to life than just survival. She opens up and realizes the good opening up does her.

Another example of a closed character is Elsa, from Disney's new movie Frozen. She has remarkable powers, but becomes scared of them and of what they could do to others. So, she hides her powers and isolates herself, even from her own sister. Then, when her powers are made known to the world at large, she flies far away. Suddenly she is able to open up and let it, specifically her powers, go. However, she fails to realize that she can't open up (or let go) completely, because she runs away from her sister and her people and refuses to feel that loss. It isn't until she is able to both be with those she loves and use her powers that she opens up and is able to completely let go of her fear and closedness.

Note that being open doesn't mean being passive or submissive to everybody else's whim, nor does it provide an excuse to do or say whatever we want to do or say. No, being open, I think, has to do with integrity and love, among other things. We may have integrity and love when we are closed, but in order to truly act with integrity or give love to others, we must be open. Loving, in particular, makes us vulnerable. In true love (no matter the kind of relationship), we are emotionally invested in them and they are emotionally invested in us. We feel pain and sorrow when those we love feel pain and sorrow, we feel joy when they feel joy. This is a reflection of the love God feels for us, and such a love cannot flourish without openness. Obviously there must be a balance, however. We must be open and closed, depending on who we are, the circumstances, and the people we are with. But, though we hesitate in the face of pain, failure, risk, and change, perhaps what we need is to try being a little more open. Apparently I do.

(The pictures are from my trip to Disneyland almost two years ago.)