"It's Not You. It's The Thing"
We all do it. We all worry about something going wrong, and most, if not all of us worry about causing something to go wrong. In other words, we all worry about making mistakes. We worry about hurting or disappointing others, particularly those we care about, and sometimes this leads to such extremely high levels of sensitivity, self-consciousness, and anxiety that we use a valuable word a little too often to quickly bandage skin that isn't even scratched. That word is "sorry."
I remember, when we were all a little younger, a little girl whose cousin would follow her around everywhere. Over several years, both of them grew up, grew wiser, and grew closer. But some things didn't change. Foremost, that dear angel of a cousin was still sensitive. She would always apologize for things that were nonexistent or not her fault. "Sorry" became her quick fix, and at first this really bothered the little girl, who wasn't so little. Then, one day, while spending a Monday evening with some college friends, this girl realized that "sorry" had become her automatic word as well. As you can probably surmise, these little girls are me and my cousin.
There are some pretty difficult and painful habits, but the "sorry" habit may be one of the most painful. It weakens us and weakens the powerful, sincere meaning of the word used for repentance. When we feel like we have to say sorry at every wrong-gone moment, I think it cripples our self-esteem. We start feeling as if we can't please others or do anything right. In short, it doesn't make us happy, and our happiness is God's goal and greatest desire.
But don't get me wrong. This isn't a sin. In fact, it is far from being a sin. It's just a habit, caused by our emotions and thoughts, causing our emotions and thoughts. It's like having bad sleeping habits, or bad eating habits, or bad studying habits. Unfortunately, though, I consider it more severe. Bad sleeping habits are not good, but it doesn't help when you have the sorry habit to add to it. The sorry habit makes you feel guilty, lose self-confidence, and therefore to, in the future, not improve, but rather to make other mistakes...in turn making yourself feel even worse because you aren't perfect.
But guess what! Perfect doesn't even mean what we think it means. (I can hear you disbelievingly exclaiming, "Inconceivable!" But no, I'm serious...) Perfection doesn't mean "not making any mistakes" or whatever else the dictionary says. That's downright ridiculous. Perfection is something far more beautiful, far more encompassing, and far more comforting. When we are commanded to be perfect, the Greek word actually means complete or whole. Do you see the word "flawless" in that definition? We're commanded to be whole. This requires progression, repentance, strengthening, and coming to the Lord, which we must do with all of our problems, whether they're sins, weaknesses, habits, mistakes, or even our sorrows and our pains. It's a mountain we must climb, but is totally worth it! Don't turn back, but don't give up and sink to the ground because you don't feel worthy or feel like you constantly have to say sorry.
So, if you're facing the sorry habit like my cousin and I have been, I'd like to share something I told my cousin a few months ago: "Just remember: it's not you. It's the thing." Someday, if you keep climbing the mountain and keep trying to do your best, you will be surprised at how much you've grown, in both strength and in self-esteem. But, while you're climbing that mountain, don't let yourself get discouraged. Rather, laugh and remember that it's not you; it's the thing. It's not you that missed the goal, it's the ball. Be aware of how you can improve, but don't let your mistakes get you down. When you feel like you're a horrible student because you've been trying your best but nothing's seeming to work, or when you feel like you're a bad mom or housekeeper because, yet again, the laundry's not done and the dishes stink and you barely have enough time to look after the kids, or at any other time when you're trying your best but there's always that little mistake and you're constantly telling yourself, your family, and your friends "sorry," just remember: it's not you. It's the thing.
There are some pretty difficult and painful habits, but the "sorry" habit may be one of the most painful. It weakens us and weakens the powerful, sincere meaning of the word used for repentance. When we feel like we have to say sorry at every wrong-gone moment, I think it cripples our self-esteem. We start feeling as if we can't please others or do anything right. In short, it doesn't make us happy, and our happiness is God's goal and greatest desire.
But don't get me wrong. This isn't a sin. In fact, it is far from being a sin. It's just a habit, caused by our emotions and thoughts, causing our emotions and thoughts. It's like having bad sleeping habits, or bad eating habits, or bad studying habits. Unfortunately, though, I consider it more severe. Bad sleeping habits are not good, but it doesn't help when you have the sorry habit to add to it. The sorry habit makes you feel guilty, lose self-confidence, and therefore to, in the future, not improve, but rather to make other mistakes...in turn making yourself feel even worse because you aren't perfect.
But guess what! Perfect doesn't even mean what we think it means. (I can hear you disbelievingly exclaiming, "Inconceivable!" But no, I'm serious...) Perfection doesn't mean "not making any mistakes" or whatever else the dictionary says. That's downright ridiculous. Perfection is something far more beautiful, far more encompassing, and far more comforting. When we are commanded to be perfect, the Greek word actually means complete or whole. Do you see the word "flawless" in that definition? We're commanded to be whole. This requires progression, repentance, strengthening, and coming to the Lord, which we must do with all of our problems, whether they're sins, weaknesses, habits, mistakes, or even our sorrows and our pains. It's a mountain we must climb, but is totally worth it! Don't turn back, but don't give up and sink to the ground because you don't feel worthy or feel like you constantly have to say sorry.
So, if you're facing the sorry habit like my cousin and I have been, I'd like to share something I told my cousin a few months ago: "Just remember: it's not you. It's the thing." Someday, if you keep climbing the mountain and keep trying to do your best, you will be surprised at how much you've grown, in both strength and in self-esteem. But, while you're climbing that mountain, don't let yourself get discouraged. Rather, laugh and remember that it's not you; it's the thing. It's not you that missed the goal, it's the ball. Be aware of how you can improve, but don't let your mistakes get you down. When you feel like you're a horrible student because you've been trying your best but nothing's seeming to work, or when you feel like you're a bad mom or housekeeper because, yet again, the laundry's not done and the dishes stink and you barely have enough time to look after the kids, or at any other time when you're trying your best but there's always that little mistake and you're constantly telling yourself, your family, and your friends "sorry," just remember: it's not you. It's the thing.
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